Have You Been Found Out Yet?

You often feel like a fake even though the evidence of your successes, attributes and values populate every area of your life ~ this haunting feeling can bring about intense fear, it can cause you to play small, play safe, procrastinate and even wonder what you are worth – yes?

I know ~ it took me to rehab! Why? I forced it down with 100% addiction to external success, to work, to winning, to drinking, to burnout!

Very few men will admit to this, perhaps I am a rare case, perhaps not – but many of my women clients and friends openly admit to feeling this way, which is what prompted me to write this…

I don’t want any other entrepreneurs to every have to get that far from their true self if I can help it!

So, let’s start with some quiet reflective contemplation around ‘who we are’……

Have you ever spent any time thinking about who you really are? Maybe you’ve wondered how other people perceive you. Who you are-your identity-is a powerful force in your life and speaks volumes to others who come into contact with you. Your identity plays an important role in the decisions you make and the relationships you have.

Thinking about who you are will strengthen the connections among your mind, body, and behaviors. Also, you can get a better handle of where you are in life as well as where you’re headed.Although there are plenty of psychological theories about identity, including its formation and how you maintain it, consider the following as basic elements of your identity:

1. Your personal family history. Where you were raised, who you grew up with, and the experiences you had as you matured from an infant all the way through your early adult years are powerful factors affecting the development of your personal identity. * Consider sayings like, “You can take the girl out of the city, but you can’t take the city out of the girl” and their implications. So where you’ve come from plays a major role in who you are. * However, your history doesn’t have to be the end of the story when it comes to your present identity. An encouraging thing about life is that you can take steps to be the person you want to be at any time.

2. The “group” of people you hang out with. Much of who you are today can be attributed to the people you most closely affiliate with. Your friends probably share interests in the same kinds of things you find fascinating. * Perhaps several of your friends play golf and so do you. You’re into fitness and a bit of a health nut as are a few of your best buddies. Even though you may associate the idea of “cliques” with your teen years, it’s still true that we gravitate towards people who share similarities to ourselves. * You can be selective about the people you choose to hang out with. If you want to be studious, you can look for others who spend time in libraries and taking classes. If you want to be successful, choose to hang out with people you view as good at their work and successful in life.

3. Your physical appearance. Your clothes, hairstyle, and how you conduct yourself physically combine to make up an important aspect of your personal identity. Although your appearance isn’t the only thing that’s relevant about who you are, the fact is that your physical state provides people with a picture of who you are.

4. Your feelings, thoughts, and beliefs about you. Your self-image is made up of how you feel about yourself as an individual. Also, what you believe to be true about yourself is a powerful force in determining your personal identity. * For example, if you believe you’re an overweight, unattractive person, then you might unconsciously portray those characteristics toward others.*

But if you see yourself as someone who’s working hard to excel in her career and willing to give something to get something, you present a more positive identity to others.

What you feel, think, and believe about yourself are major aspects of your overall identity.

Make it a point to ponder who you are.

Recognize that your personal identity is a complex mix of your history, affiliations, and thoughts and beliefs about yourself. How you appear to others is also representative of your identity. Realize that you have considerable power to influence the type of identity you possess and show to others.

Be positive and vow to be the best you can be! You are enough!

……and remember, you are not what you think you are – but what you think…… you are!

PS. You are NOT a Fake!

I would love you to share your thoughts, feelings and experience with me here – so that I can understand how I might be of value to you in the future! Respect,Paul

Comments

  1. Mark

    When I begin to doubt my ability, my self worth, sometimes before I pitch to a tough prospect who believes they don’t need my service, I give that feeling of negativity 5 seconds at the most before I take 5 deep breathes and say to myself, you’ve been here before lad, you’ve overcome this emotion, time and time again, your safe, remember who you are,, and what you’ve achieved.
    I run towards that panic and flip it to excitement as I believe that it’s the other side of the same coin.
    At this moment my mind is clear and focused on why I’m there and what I need to do to get the job done.
    These are my defence mechanisms in times of self doubt.
    I will never let fear stand in the way again of reaching my purpose and goals.

  2. kippy

    Paul, I agree with every word you say. I would like to add that in many things we do in life there is nothing like experience to give us the confidence we need to get the job done well. Sometimes I really do need to pretend I know what I’m doing even though I’m clueless. In these instances I rely on my previous life experiences to keep my self-esteem high and an old saying that goes: “Fake it until you make it.” Look forward to the next in this series of blog posts.

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